People Watching in Vegas

I'm sitting in the McCarran airport on the first of two layovers. Since I find people watching to be such a fascinating experience, I thought I would share some of my thoughts.

First, and foremost, people are way too concerned with looking good in the airport. I mean, really? Are you really looking to pick someone up in the airport or is that just some form of self-esteem boost that you get when flying? Now, I know what you're thinking...Bryan, I bet you're just as concerned about yourself as the person sitting across from you in the terminal. There is some truth to that, but I would also like to think that the self-awareness factor trumps...But I could be wrong, and it wouldn't be the first time. I think God created these for the purpose of spreading the fashion techniques lost from ancient Egypt.

Who actually plays the slots in the middle of an airport? Yes, obviously I can see the people sitting there, but I guess I'm wondering "Why?" I mean, I don't gamble, but if I was going to, I would rather do it in a different environment than an airport. I just seems so...cheesy...stupid...wasteful...insert your own adjective. And yet, they rush to it as if it's a "new" phenomenon. I wish I could just get inside of their heads and see what's really going on in there, which leads me to self-reflection #2: I should have been a psychologist. I think God created these people to sharpen all of the rest of humanity.

Then there are the people who look bored out of their minds. I guess you can group me in that category. A two-hour layover will do that to you. Then again, the three-hour that I have coming up will be fun. At least I have my laptop. Some people look as if they are going to fall asleep with their eyes open, because they dont' know what else to do. If a fly were to land on their nose, I'm pretty sure that they would try to grab it to pluck off its wings - dumb action is better than none at all, right? I think God created them to have fun, but they forgot it back at home.

Oh, and apparently not EVERYone has iPods these days. I guess I'm used to walking around with my youth group, in which everyone seems to "need" their portable music device just to function. Granted, I'm sitting here with a number of older individuals who might have a heart attack if the music was turned up too loudly. I think God created them for a relationship, but they missed that part of the Bible.

I also feel sorry for the people that are turned away at the terminal. Whether they missed their flight or were on standby, it's still rather sad to see them walk away dejected. They're definitely not as fun as the people who run on the people movers, because they're afraid that walking for themselves will strain a muscle. I think God created them for comic relief, but they haven't been given a microphone yet.

Oh, and I LOVE the guy carrying a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts onto the plane. How wrong is that? The people on the plane will probably kill him before they even take off. Just reminds me of when God created Cain...not sure that I have any other comments on that subject.

Finally, I have to wonder about the airport workers. I mean, they must have a wonderful time watching someone walk by four times due to the fact that they got lost and didn't listen to the directions the first time. Oops...five times. I typed too soon. Interestingly enough, "I Will Survive" is playing (when not interrupted by the annoyingly monotonous pages coming through the speakers) in the background and it seems a very fitting song for that poor lady. If I see her walk by again, I won't bother informing you. God created her...for a good reason. A very good reason and I'll try to remember to ask when I reach heaven.

Oh, and the guy who's shirt got pulled up in his backpack and is showing off his completely white mid-section.

And the guy with his "Vegas" shirt!

And the people wearing pajamas.

And the guy wearing his unsightly white undershirt in public...must not be married...

Oh - the guy in the muscle shirt with an interesting tan line.

And the lady who keeps answering her phone behind me, only to get the person on the other end to hang up as quickly as possible. Isn't that why they invented voicemail?

And the young parents who have never taken their three- and five-year-old kids out into public and are now not sure what to do with them.

And the guy wearing an outfit so similar to mine that it makes me wonder about my own wardrobe selection...

Oh, and I almost missed it! The lady who wears the "CHANGE" vest. Apparently she cashes in change for the people playing the slots...that's funny. We've moved away from an automated change dispenser and made the process more "customer-service friendly."

I guess I figured out what the lady behind me is doing on the phone. I guess she's returning all of her "voicemails;" but she says "so" and "um" a LOT. That would definitely annoy me...oh wait - it actually is.

And lastly, the guy who looks like he should belong to the Russian mafia, but is on "vacation" and trying to figure out how to use his portable music device.

Man, this is so fun when you get started - oh that lady looks like my mom - that I don't want to stop, but will if you happened to keep reading this far. Have a great day!