Monday, May 16, 2011

On Relationships

Have you ever wondered about the way in which we treat our relationships? I'm not just talking about boy/girl relationships, but just those in general. We wonder why people don't understand us. Or we wonder why we're so different. Or at times we just simply fail. I have some thoughts...feel free to take them or leave them.

Relationships are Important
I don't think that enough of us consider the true importance of relationships. We were created to have a relationship first, and foremost, with God - so obviously this is a big deal in the life of a human. It's part of our internal structure, and yet we place so little value on it that it almost seems meaningless.

If we are to see a visible change in our relationships, then we have to put a priority on those people that we truly value. What are you doing to show them that you care? In what ways have you stretched yourself to be the bigger person? Think about the top five relationships that you own - yes I said own - and take some time to consider how you can step up to make them better.

You Get What You Pay For
This is true with computers, cars, and filters. We know, from vast experience, that we are only going to get value out of something, if we spend resources developing it. No one else is going to make your relationship work for you. You do it!

One way that you can pour into a relationship is to give trust. The saying, "You have to give trust to earn it," really applies in this situation. If you expect a relationship to work and be a two-way street, then you have to show the person that you are willing to trust them and their actions.

This is very telling in our non-verbal communication. We can "say" that we trust someone, but if our face belies that fact, then we have worsened the trust more substantially that we could've realized. Not only have we lost an opportunity to gain trust, but also we have proven that we will take trust back at a moment's notice, and people pick up on that really quickly.

Not Everything is as It Seems
Just because you are feeling uncomfortable, doesn't mean that the other person is. There are times, when one half of the relationship is struggling with something, but doesn't know how to relate it to the other half. This is where trust and communication play a huge role. If the person is to tell you what is going on in their life, then they have to believe that you will still love them when everything has been aired out.

An understanding of the person's mannerisms and communication style can only come with time. Sometimes you don't get it right on the first try, but that doesn't give you license to stop trying. If you think enough of the relationship to start it, then you should care enough to see it through to success, no matter what the obstacle or situation.

Build with a Foundation of Love
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Corinthians 13:1). This is such a poignant verse! I can have all of the communication skills in the world, but if I don't have love, I'm just flailing my arms and shouting, "Look at me! Look at me!" Our relationships are not always about us. If they were, there would be a lot of empty people in the world...oh wait, there already are.

Be the love for that person, even if you don't think they deserve it. It could be the difference that they need. The reality is that they will be there to uphold you in the future, so you take care of them now. Love unconditionally, because Christ first modeled that for us.

No comments:

Post a Comment