I'm in San Francisco this week attending a conference for work. As I was on the way back to my hotel room for the night, I almost ran into a woman (literally) who was staggering down the sidewalk. Now, by virtue of the fact that I am in San Francisco, I knew that there might be some interesting people on the streets. There are at least 5 people outside my hotel, every time that I enter or leave, that are begging for money.
So, having been here a number of times in the past, I wasn't really affected by the many people on the streets - until I found myself on a collision course.The lady had a pocked-marked face and appeared to be filled with fever blisters. I know that not everyone can have a perfect face, but I immediately felt pain when looking upon her face. Why was she like this? What had taken place in her life that she would look to be in such pain? Was this her own choice or was it forced upon her?
She was also crying as she staggered down the sidewalk. Not only were there tears in her eyes, but also she kept repeating, "Someone save me, someone save me." What should I do about this? Why would she be saying this as she was walking down the street? This took me back to Criminal Minds, as if it were another episode on women lost in the big city. Would anyone remember her, if she were gone? Would anyone care? Does anyone care even now?
My gut reaction was to keep walking, which I did. Was that wrong? I justified it by saying that there were shelters, if she needed help. There were also police on every corner, directing traffic. There were plenty of stores with open doors. There were hundreds of people walking by. Why was no one helping? Did she really want help? Was it for attention?
These are the thoughts that many of us are plagued with. Should I actually help this person? Am I a bad person for not helping?
What are YOUR thoughts? Share with me what you would've done in this situation.
The Social Work Major in me is full of heart break...hurting people like this lady are exactly who called has called us to reach out to. It can be scary to offer our help, especially if we are not sure if our efforts will actually be helpful, or just make us enablers, allowing people to take advantage of our compassion. It also becomes a matter of pride, because we of course want to know that the good things we do are recognized, but it is not always that cut and dry. Issues of our own safety come up as we question whether the person may become violent or aggressive, unsure as to whether or not the person is in their right mind. Society tells us to ignore these people, that they have gotten into tough situations by their own choices and deserve to suffer the consequences. But then God's Word calls out with compassion. Multiple times, the Bible tells us that God looks with favor on those who care for the poor. Proverbs 14:31 says, "He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God."
ReplyDeleteAll these thoughts run through my head at the same time as I read your post and think of the many people I myself have either passed by or reached out to. There is always SOMETHING you can do, whether that be giving money, food, shelter, clothing, or transportation, reporting something to the authorities, chatting with the person to encourage them, or offering up prayer in our hearts for the abandoned people in our world. The key is to listen to God's Spirit in our hearts and seek to follow what He wants in each specific situation. After all, it's not for us, but for HIS glory that we live.
Why is it that we always expect someone else to help them? We walk by sometimes outraged or appalled asking, "Why is no one helping her?" when it is probably because WE are the ONES that are supposed to be helping.
ReplyDeleteVery good thoughts. I agree, we are faced with looking at the person and wondering why no one is reacting, when maybe we should be reacting. Listening to the Spirit is key; however, I've seen us (society, me even) become dulled to the whispers of the Spirit, because of a lack of desire to respond. I appreciate the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I may have kept walking too. I've never been in that exact situation so I don't really know how I would have reacted. However...I think as Christians it is our job to help people. (Of course, we have to have certain boundaries and not be used by people.) She may have been doing it for attention. Then again - she may really need help. Who knows the affect you can have on one person's life within just a few seconds by just asking them, "How is your day going?" or "What can I do to help you?" Or even something like, "Let's get some coffee. I want to talk with you and know how to pray for you."
ReplyDeleteAlthough you did walk away I do believe you can still help her. You may not know her name. You may not know her story. But you do know her face. You do know her cries for help. You can pray for her and pray that someone can come into her life to reach out and help her in some way.
You may judge this as a sexist comment...but, my first thought was that she was crying and using her ability to get attention. I, personally, have a lot of women "cry" to me to get something. Maybe it's because I'm a pastor and I seem especially vulnerable; but, for better or worse, that was my first thought.
ReplyDeleteEh, I don't see it has sexist. I'm a woman and I've even had women do the same thing to me by using their emotions to get attention or to get what they are trying to achieve. At the same time, it's hard to tell the difference because of personal experiences and stereotypes that are gained by those experiences. But we shouldn't allow stereotypes get in the way of helping others. - And I am speaking to myself on this one too.
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