Kid: "I want more presents."
Mom (to herself): "What can I do to buy more gifts for my son?"
This doesn't sound wrong, does it? I mean, in this Christmas season, how many of us have been searching for that "perfect" Christmas gift that says, "I nailed it! They will never forget what I got them for Christmas this year." But, out of curiosity, do you remember what everyone got you last year? How about the year before that? Has our obsession with gift-giving truly blinded us from the real purpose of celebration this year?
I am continually saddened by the fact that most of our Christmas season is spent not considering Christ. We go to parties, have family events, exchange gifts, and even take special time off from work, but throughout the whole season, Jesus hardly receives any mention.
Hopefully, this isn't a doomsday post about how the world is ending, blah, blah, blah. My point is not to berate us further, but rather to encourage that we carve out special time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and recognize that He was and is the Emmanuel, Christ with us! We have been blessed beyond measure through a free gift of salvation in Christ Jesus. Thank God for Jesus, our Messiah! May His name be praised for ever and ever more. He is the gift that will never be forgotten!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
The Holiness of Marriage
I recently had a friend comment, "Bryan, I now have to use both hands to count the number of my friends that are getting or have been divorced in the last year and a half. We have lost the holiness that should be found in marriage."
I cannot disagree with that comment, nor with the fact that American marriages are struggling to survive. Each of use can probably name at least two or three couples that cohabitate before marriage and some of those couples have no plan to ever actually tie the knot. The prevailing thought is that marriage matters less than it used to and that there is no need to enter into marriage, because most of the time it will not last.
As a newlywed, that saddens me.
When I was engaged to Bonnie - and even shortly after marriage - there were a few people that, when "congratulating" me on our engagement, gave me the look. The look said two things: "I wish I had your happiness," and "I wonder how long it will take him to realize that it won't last." Surprisingly, I do not think that the look was given consciously, but rather as an outpouring of their underlying hurts and pains. Marriages and people have been beaten up for far too long, and it seems like things will stay that way, until there is a renewed adoption of God's plan for marriage: holiness.
Well before getting married, I heard marriage explained thus: The husband and wife come together to become a reflection of God. If the man is blue and the woman is pink, they join together in holy matrimony to reflect purple, the color of God's unquestionable royalty.
Think about that. Marriage is designed to be a royal reflection of the image of God. When did happiness become a requirement or even a goal of marriage? People often say that they look for happiness in a marriage. I do too! However, that is not my primary concern. In my marriage, I constantly check our relationship based on whether or not we are reflecting God in that moment, or day, or week.
Feel free to remark, "Bryan, you're still young in your marriage, so you just haven't gone through the trials that a life of marriage has yet to throw at you," and I will certainly not fault you for your comment. In fact, people far more experienced than me can share better advice on the subject. However, I have to ask this question in return.
What do you really desire from your marriage?
If you seek to be fulfilled in that moment with self-gratification, limited happiness, or a blissful day/week/month without an argument, I think you miss the point completely. To live for gratification (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental) robs God of His throne and title of Provider. To seek happiness, leaves you empty of the joy that comes from a life fulfilled with Christ's over and abundant salvation (and yes this even applies to your marriage). And, to think that every year will be another honeymoon is just foolish; it does not happen at your job or in your personal hobbies and it certainly will not last in your marriage.
Instead of trying to recreate the honeymoon, why not appreciate the growth that has come from years of learning the intricacies of your spouse and how your love for them has grown through hard work and dedication?
Instead of looking for happiness, which is most certainly momentary, why not allow Christ's joy and salvation to fill your marriage with a renewed spirit of heartfelt abundance?
Instead of seeking to be pleased, why not seek to please?
There are so many things going wrong with marriages. Do something right this week! Strive for holiness in your marriage and look for ways to support and uphold your spouse in Christ's love. May you be blessed as you renew these vows to each other.
I cannot disagree with that comment, nor with the fact that American marriages are struggling to survive. Each of use can probably name at least two or three couples that cohabitate before marriage and some of those couples have no plan to ever actually tie the knot. The prevailing thought is that marriage matters less than it used to and that there is no need to enter into marriage, because most of the time it will not last.
As a newlywed, that saddens me.
When I was engaged to Bonnie - and even shortly after marriage - there were a few people that, when "congratulating" me on our engagement, gave me the look. The look said two things: "I wish I had your happiness," and "I wonder how long it will take him to realize that it won't last." Surprisingly, I do not think that the look was given consciously, but rather as an outpouring of their underlying hurts and pains. Marriages and people have been beaten up for far too long, and it seems like things will stay that way, until there is a renewed adoption of God's plan for marriage: holiness.
Well before getting married, I heard marriage explained thus: The husband and wife come together to become a reflection of God. If the man is blue and the woman is pink, they join together in holy matrimony to reflect purple, the color of God's unquestionable royalty.
Think about that. Marriage is designed to be a royal reflection of the image of God. When did happiness become a requirement or even a goal of marriage? People often say that they look for happiness in a marriage. I do too! However, that is not my primary concern. In my marriage, I constantly check our relationship based on whether or not we are reflecting God in that moment, or day, or week.
Feel free to remark, "Bryan, you're still young in your marriage, so you just haven't gone through the trials that a life of marriage has yet to throw at you," and I will certainly not fault you for your comment. In fact, people far more experienced than me can share better advice on the subject. However, I have to ask this question in return.
What do you really desire from your marriage?
If you seek to be fulfilled in that moment with self-gratification, limited happiness, or a blissful day/week/month without an argument, I think you miss the point completely. To live for gratification (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental) robs God of His throne and title of Provider. To seek happiness, leaves you empty of the joy that comes from a life fulfilled with Christ's over and abundant salvation (and yes this even applies to your marriage). And, to think that every year will be another honeymoon is just foolish; it does not happen at your job or in your personal hobbies and it certainly will not last in your marriage.
Instead of trying to recreate the honeymoon, why not appreciate the growth that has come from years of learning the intricacies of your spouse and how your love for them has grown through hard work and dedication?
Instead of looking for happiness, which is most certainly momentary, why not allow Christ's joy and salvation to fill your marriage with a renewed spirit of heartfelt abundance?
Instead of seeking to be pleased, why not seek to please?
There are so many things going wrong with marriages. Do something right this week! Strive for holiness in your marriage and look for ways to support and uphold your spouse in Christ's love. May you be blessed as you renew these vows to each other.
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