The Rally's Incident

At some point, each and every one of us turns back to a point in our lives that plays on in infamy. For me, one of those times (there will be more to come) is the Rally's incident. As those in my office will attest to, the Rally's incident is much more than a story of passion and love, but also one of pure hilarity that decreases my life with each telling. Therefore, I am laying it all out in word, to prevent the need for future retellings.

As many of you know, Rally's (AKA Checkers in other parts of the world) is one of my favorite fast food places. At one point in my life, I frequented Rally's with the tenacity of a teen-aged boy that is filling his appetite by emptying each and every cupboard in the house. That changed one September day when I stopped by Rally's to pick up dinner before class.

It was a Monday evening - not quite dark, but getting there. As I pulled up to the window, there was a woman there to welcome me with her wonderful smile. OK - to be honest, she hadn't yet turned to me, because she was hanging halfway out of the window yelling to her friend across the parking lot, 'Aight boo, I'll talk to you later. Love ya babe.' Then she quickly added in a tone that only I could hear, 'Even if you didn't get me anything for my birthday.' I said to myself, 'Self, that's interesting...I wonder if she actually likes that person.' Then Shaniqua (a name given by the wonderful staff with whom I work due to the fact that her real identity should remain anonymous) turned to me and grunted, 'Mmmm, you are lookin' SEXY today.'

Luckily for me, I was still wearing my sunglasses. I didn't have the temerity to respond, so I just looked up and smiled. She said, 'Now I may just be gettin' tired, but mmhmm, you are lookin' good.' Normally one would take this as a compliment. I, however, was rather embarrassed and did everything that I could to avoid eye contact - oh wait, I was still wearing sunglasses. She took my money and then disappeared into the window.

By this time another worker had brought my meal, but I was still waiting for Shaniqua to bring me my change. When she finally reappeared at the window she said, 'Why you bring him his food so fast, I wanted to look at him longer,' to her coworker. At this point, the only thing I could think about was getting my money and leaving, which I did rather promptly.

Now, many people have offered advice as to how to handle a situation like this. Some have suggested that I should have played along with the game. Others suggested that I report her for coming to work in a drunken stupor. All the same, at that moment in time I was frozen to the point of immobility and scared to open my mouth and say something stupid. Not that it would have been any worse than her comments, but really...I was at a loss for words.

As you read this, just remember my friends at Rally's and stop by every once in a while to see if you can spot Shaniqua. This is a true story, but now it's out and I can rest in peace.