The Art of TV Purchasing

This story comes from a land that is near and dear to my heart: Fresno. Like all good stories, it includes a hero (myself) and a villain (to be portrayed as you keep reading)…

There was a young man named Moesh who lived in Fresno and enjoyed spending time with his friends and family. In an effort to enhance the joy, he decided to purchase a new TV. A million thoughts ran through his head, but the main thing was that he didn’t want to spend too much on the TV since times were hard.

Well Moesh had a friend named Jermaine. Jermaine was one of those lively fellows that can make friends with anyone, and in so doing discovered a discount TV store in the area. Knowing that they had good TV’s for sale at a decent price, Moesh decided to check out the shop.

Upon arrival, two things were evidently clear: (1) not ALL of the TV’s were in the best shape, and (2) the business was a small operation that was not very well organized. Upon seeing this, Moesh decided that it was best to find a good TV and then bargain for a good price. He and the owner settled on a TV of good quality and struck the bargain.

Excitedly, Moesh took his TV home and enjoy an amazing night of movie watching. But the next morning, to his demise, the TV would not work. So he took the TV back, expecting a change. Upon his second arrival, he noticed that the employee did not look well – rather tired and fatigued. When Moesh explained the problem, the employee gave him an incredulous look and asked him to try switching out the cables.

Frustrated, Moesh took the TV back home to try again. After realizing that he still had the same problem, he took the TV in for an actual work order. The shop kept his TV for the next week in order to replace the “broken” part and “test” its functionality. Excitedly Moesh pick up his TV and took it home for another test run.

When he got home, plugged everything in and turned the TV on it STILL didn’t work. DejecteThis story comes from a land that is near and dear to my heart: Fresno. Like all good stories, it includes a hero (myself) and a villain (to be portrayed as you keep reading)…

There was a young man named Moesh who lived in Fresno and enjoyed spending time with his friends and family. In an effort to enhance the joy, he decided to purchase a new TV. A million thoughts ran through his head, but the main thing was that he didn’t want to spend too much on the TV since times were hard.

Well Moesh had a friend named Jermaine. Jermaine was one of those lively fellows that can make friends with anyone, and in so doing discovered a discount TV store in the area. Knowing that they had good TV’s for sale at a decent price, Moesh decided to check out the shop.

Upon arrival, two things were evidently clear: (1) not ALL of the TV’s were in the best shape, and (2) the business was a small operation that was not very well organized. Upon seeing this, Moesh decided that it was best to find a good TV and then bargain for a good price. He and the owner settled on a TV of good quality and struck the bargain.

Excitedly, Moesh took his TV home and enjoy an amazing night of movie watching. But the next morning, to his demise, the TV would not work. So he took the TV back, expecting a change. Upon his second arrival, he noticed that the employee did not look well – rather tired and fatigued. When Moesh explained the problem, the employee gave him an incredulous look and asked him to try switching out the cables.

Frustrated, Moesh took the TV back home to try again. After realizing that he still had the same problem, he took the TV in for an actual work order. The shop kept his TV for the next week in order to replace the “broken” part and “test” its functionality. Excitedly Moesh pick up his TV and took it home for another test run.

When he got home, plugged everything in and turned the TV on it STILL didn’t work. Dejectedly he loaded the TV up for one more drive out to the shop. With frustration building every second as he drove he had worked out a plan of what he was to say when asked about the TV. But when he arrived at the shop, the owner casually said, “Pick out another one and let’s call it good.”

The TV that Moesh picked out was very similar to the original one, but a newer model. Despite the frustration, he was able to get a better TV that he originally intended, which was satisfying in the end.

Moral: Be nice to your TV salesman and he will help you in the long run…

ONCE UPON A TIME

Once upon a time there was a prince named George. He lived in a quiet castle not too far from the home city of his father's kingdom. He would often stroll through the everglade forests surrounding his castle, wondering about the young maiden that would someday catch his attention.

While strolling through the forest one day, he was startled at hearing a faint whisper. He listened intently to try and recognize the sound, but could not make it out what was making the noise. He did, however, discover the direction from which the sound was produced and decided to quietly sneak in that direction. To George's surprise, he stumbled upon a black dragon sitting in a swamp.

The dragon looked surprised, but did nothing to harm George. Feeling the inclination to find out why the dragon had been whispering, George ventured a question - "What are you doing?"

The dragon replied, "I'm Chester! I was just trying to mimic the fish in the swamp and was breathing through fish lips."

Suddenly intrigued by interest in Chester's actions, George asked, "How do you make fish lips?"

"By pursing your lips together like this," Chester replied as he sucked in his cheeks. Unfortunately, Chester could not hold his breath for very long and began breathing out of his nose. The noise sounded like tiny elves whispering on a cool summer afternoon as they basked in the sun coming through the trees.

George liked the sound and realized that it was vaguely familiar to the way that his friend Thom would breathe as they would travel together in the forest. Thom always had a comforting presence about him that helped George to relax when he was stressed about helping his father run the kingdom. It may have been Thom's instincts as an elf, but mostly it was his unwavering dedication and support for his friend.

Chester snorted to get George's attention. "Oh, I'm sorry," George said, "but I got lost in thought thinking about my friend Thom."

"Thom," Chester replied, "I remember him. He told me that when I saw you, I was to take you to him."

"What!" George exclaimed. "How could you possibly know Thom? And where is he?"

"Oh, he's on the other side of this mountain," said Chester. "Are you ready for me to take you to him?"

Unsure of how to respond, George took his time in replying. "Well," he said, "I guess you can't be that dangerous. I mean - after all - you were making fish faces a moment ago. That's something that Thom used to do..."

"Well of course he did," Chester interrupted. "Who do you think taught me?"

"Of course," George replied, "I forgot that the fish face was his sign that I should trust the person I met. And, while you're not a person, I think I can still trust you."

So Chester swooped down to allow George to climb up onto his back. "Grab on to my wings and hold on!" And off into the air they went. Chester swooped and ducked around the trees, but once they were out of the forest, he soared high into the air to cross the mountain.

As they descended, George began to see two tiny specks off in the distance. The closer they got, the more he began to make out that they were people. One was Thom - tall and handsome - and the other was a beautiful young woman. As George began to behold her beauty, he realized that she was the prettiest young lady that he had ever seen.

Chester glided to a smooth landing and allowed George to dismount. Jumping off the dragon, George ran to his friend and embraced him with excitement. "It's so good to see you, Thom!"

"I've missed you, George," Thom replied. "And I have someone for you to meet. George, this is Laurabelle! She is the most beautiful woman that I could find. When I told her of your wisdom and bravery as the crowned prince of our kingdom, she immediately knew of whom I was speaking."

George, knowing that he should say something before the scene became awkward, stuttered, "Huh-hi. It's good to meet you Laurabelle."

They continued in conversation until Chester departed. Thom then led them to a nearby village to stay the evening. Thom and George said goodnight to Laurabelle and went to sleep under an old oak tree.

By the time George had awakened the next morning, the whole village had gathered to see the visitors. When questioned about who they were and what they were doing, Thom replied that they were passing through to go back to the other side of the mountain. The villagers gave them supplies and wished them well on their journey.

Thom led the couple - for they were quickly becoming attached - back to their land. When they arrived there were banners and trumpets proclaiming their arrival. As they approached the king, Thom began to make the appropriate introduction, but George stepped up and called out, "Father, I would like you to meet my bride-to-be." The king welcomed Laurabelle into the castle and soon after the young couple was married.

To say that the couple lived happily ever after would be a slight. They lived with the most amazing passion for life that has ever been seen. The prince loved his new wife and she respected his bravery and courage. Until death finally separated them, they lived life to the fullest.

And to this day everyone in the kingdom tells the story of love at first sight and the prince and princess who would forever inspire the people.

THE END

Truth & Peace Opening Video

Here is the opening video for the 2009 Truth and Peace conference. Had a blast editing it!

New JOE Blog

Here's the blog for our new youth group posts. I hope you can participate in the discussions!

http://joeyouth.blogspot.com

The Hero Paradox

Have you ever stopped to consider our relationship to God through the eyes of humility? I'm not gonna lie, it's extremely difficult, and rarely - if ever - am I able to seriously consider God in this manner. But I was reading Psalm 7 the other day and was hit with a club over the top of my head for the stupidity that I often call knowledge. I've read Psalm 7 before and I'm sure I liked it, but on this occasion, this instance, I was struck with God's incredibly different, but similar nature to us.

I wrote about the image of God on a separate occasion, so I will not continue to discuss that topic; however I find it necessary to bring up the image of God, because that is how we were created - to be with Him, with commonalities that draw us close. It's similar to other relationships in life. There has to be a link that draws people together. Even considering Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard in The Big Bang Theory shows that relationships require at least one link: Leonard. We were made with similarities to God for the purpose of attracting us to Him.

Those similarities are often the things that seem to separate us from Him as well. Take Psalm 7:4 - "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" God has given us a great responsibility and joy as his children, but as we consider the converse, how many of us are mindful of God? Do we, as His children, pay attention to Him because we love Him or because He gives us what we want? Do we see God as a loving and admonishing Father or as a Grandfather that we go to when we want candy?

Thus we see the Hero Paradox. God created us, nurtured us, forgave us, saved us, and and redeemed us, but we consider ourselves to be the hero. We puff ourselves up as if we've done something great. Have you considered that God was the One to give you your talent? Have you considered that God was the One to create you, guide you, and give you insight into life's mysteries? At what point were we ever the hero? Unfortunately it is only in our mind's eye.

Psalm 7:5, "You made [man] a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor," is not said to promote us, but rather the mighty and awesome power of God. Psalm 7:6, "You made him ruler over the wors of your hands; You put everything under his feet," is not talking about our power, but rather God's.

So if we are going to continue to be God's children, I think we need to consider Him a little bit more than ourselves during our daily reflections. "God forgive me, because I failed again" repeated five times is not thinking about God. Ask for His forgiveness and then move on to how awesome and wonderful He is. Enjoy Him for who He is, not what He gives. He is the true Hero and should be treated with all the reverence and respect that His title deserves.

The Cougar Den

cou-gar [koo-ger]

-noun, plural -gars, (especially collectively) -gar.

A woman (generally 35+) who seeks out younger men as prey.

This story was almost going to have a legendary title, but I thought that I would call it like it is. For those of you that do not believe that there are cougars out there, please be advised that the stories that you have heard are 95% true. This one is no exception...

It was during the summer of 2008 that I found myself involved in the production and distribution of wedding videos. I was working with a friend (the photographer), just sitting in on weddings for which the bride wanted video in addition to pictures. We had fun, don't get me wrong, but on this occasion, the summer heat was unbelievably unbearable to the extent that I was sweating like a kid who had just walked into his first candy shop and felt the unending joy and pain of his first sugar rush.

Most of the shooting had gone well up until the point of dinner. We (as the photographers) were allowed to eat with the rest of the guests and had our names on one of the tables. As we all went to get our seats, we realized that there were two extra people vying for our table. In an effort to be conscientious servants, we decided that I and the second photographer would sit at another table to accommodate the guests.

In moving to an alternate table I was a little disgruntled and uncomfortable; however it was not my wedding, so I had no room for complaint. Arriving at the table we noticed that there was one man and the rest women. They all seemed to be very comfortable with the man's vulgar and obscene gestures, as if they had grown up with him. While he was in his 50's, he talked like a football player in his 20's, which gave me cause for alarm.

The women at the table were much more varied than the man. The youngest was about my age at the time, while the oldest was about the same age as the man. The youngest was fair to look upon, but her mouth was the disturbing factor with her. I am not beguiled into thinking that every woman is a lady, but she and her girlfriends could almost discredit the whole sex.

As people were swapping names and stories with the second photographer, I sat by just watching. Not feeling the need to partake in the conversation, I was quickly brought out of my thoughts when I felt all eyes on me. A question was asked. What had been said? Who had asked me? Think - respond. They're expecting you to say something! OH - she had asked my name?

'And who might this young man in the blue be?'

'I'm Bryan,' I responded.

She was a brunette with long dark hair. She looked to be about 35-38 years old with the look of one looking for fun. By the dress she wore, one could tell that she enjoyed flaunting her figure. Answer her - she's asking another question!

'Are you single?' An innocent question, right? I mean, they have all been sharing their stories, so apparently they want to know mine.

'Yes.' STUPID! Why would you give out that information? You know what's coming next! Idiot.

As she walked around the table to talk more directly to me she asked, 'So, do you like older women?' WHAT? What on earth would possess her to ask me something like that?! Idiot, you should NEVER talk with strangers. They are nothing but trouble! Think - she's coming around the table for a response.

'Well, I work at a college and am really more interested in college-aged girls.' Phew that worked. No it didn't - that was a stupid answer. Oh wait, she's responding - pay attention.

'Oh, that's interesting.' She is running her hands through her fingers...what could that mean? Why is she not walking away? Did I not give the proper response to turn her away? She is talking again...'Well, it would be interesting if you changed your mind.' Oh good, she is walking away. Don't make eye contact. By this time the second photographer was looking at me with a smirk on his face. Great, what else was I supposed to do? She was clearly intoxicated, so why did it matter that I just said, 'no.' With the amount of alcohol that they had consumed already, I was not surprised by her actions. Or was I?

For the rest of the wedding I did everything that I could to ensure that we stayed apart. Even when the women wanted to give us hugs at the end, I made sure that they were quick. I had no intention to stay around after dark with these women. Nothing good could come out of it. Walk away...walk away...

The Legend of the Zip Line

There are some that have a genuine fear of the outdoors. Others, it seems, cannot live without it. I, however, have grown accustomed to life in the city for a variety of reasons, only one of which I will share today.

Let me say at the onset that I am not opposed to the outdoors. It is just that I have been scarred beyond recovery and need to take it slowly...

Once upon a time...who uses this phrase anymore? I would've used something more appropriate, but couldn't think of a better intro. Once upon a time I went to church camp. As a general rule I went every year, but there were times of hardship during which my family could not afford to pay for it. During this particular incident I found myself thoroughly enjoying life as a teenager, expecting that camp would last forever and I would never have to return home only to attend another year of school.

We had already been participating in outdoor activities which included several team-building exercises. For those of you that have attended camp at some point in your life you know what I'm talking about. Everyone has to come together as a team in order to break down the barriers between us and become friends - that kind of stuff.

After the team-building exercises we were introduced to the zip line. Now - a zip line is a cable that has been strung from two points (generally trees) that allows the person to quickly "zip" or move through the air from the highest point to the other. This being the case, the zip line has to be set up in the air (definitely a few feet off of the ground) in order to accomplish the trick.

To start, I have a fear of heights. Some would call this acrophobia, but I just call it losing my stomach at the thought of falling from a height of more than 1 foot. So, to even look up at the zip line made my blood start to quiver. Actually...just thinking about the tall tree that would eventually spell my doom is starting to make my stomach turn.

Climbing to the top seemed like an eternity. It was a rope ladder that wouldn't stay still if my life depended on it. Who in their right mind would want to climb a waving tendril of death?? Once I got to the top, I was strapped in and given a couple of directions. Face forward, keep your feet in front of you, don't turn your back to the tree, when you get to the end, Scott will catch you. My guide also pointed out that there was a wooden block set in place to slow my momentum at the point of impact.

As we counted down from whatever arbitrary number seemed to please my guide at the time, I realized that my heart was racing. GO! And I jumped. And I lost my stomach. And I was pretty sure that if I hadn't gone to the bathroom beforehand, that I would've at that moment in time. Down I went. Because people were watching me, I thought I'd try to erase the fear that had left me clinging to the rope. Think good thoughts. Focus on the target.

You know, it's not as bad as one might thing. You just have to get used to the sensation of losing all control of your life and allowing nature to take its course. HA. Twisting...I'm twisting. What do I do? Just enjoy the ride. Wait - where's the tree? Oh - it's a ways off. Plus, there's the wooden block to slow my roll. Oh, and there's Scott on the platform, waiting to catch me.

Wooden block. OK - brace for impact. Contact with wooden block. Still sailing through. At this point in time everything around me slowed down to an eternity. It was like I could see the world around me in HD slow motion. Apparently the wooden block hadn't done the job, because I was still flying at the speed of...say a hawk intent on catching its prey. Oh wait, Scott can catch me.

Just passed Scott. Apparently I was going to fast for him to catch the rope and I slid right past. However, I could still see the shock on his face as I was looking at him rather than at my final resting place. The last thought that went through my mind before impact was, 'Don't forget to keep your feet in front of you.' I quickly tried to turn so that my back wasn't facing the tree that I was about to hit. I had about 2 feet to complete the twist.

Too late. My back was now coming in contact with the tree. More specifically, my back collided with a stub of a branch that had been cut off. Why someone would leave a foot left on the branch is beyond me, since that seemed to be the thing that had induced pain of the acutest kind. Not only had I met the tree with an incredible impact, but also all of my energy and momentum had been expended on that one branch. If you know anything about physics, you will understand the extent to which this would cause pain.

I slowly started moving back toward Scott who was waiting to catch me on the platform. He asked if I was OK, but I could only respond with, 'get me down, because I can't breathe.' He quickly unstrapped me from the zip line and laid me on the platform. At this point I felt as if a rib had been broken. At bare minimum I felt as if my heart had been punctured...OK, not exactly since it was the right side of my back, but close enough.

I remember people running to get the camp nurse. All of the sudden I see Phil running at breakneck speed to the platform. He doesn't even run like that for softball, so I knew that something was up. Once we found out that my skin hadn't even been punctured, I felt as if all of that pain was for nothing. No one would believe I was hurt if there was no blood. That's whack!

Unfortunately I had to spend the rest of the day (until dinner) under observation, because I couldn't bear the shame of being out in public. Who runs into a tree? Good grief, at the very least I could've put my feet out to stop my momentum, but NO - I had to do things the hard way.

The zip line has thus become a legend in my own mind. If not for that incident, I might not be as afraid of outdoor obstacle courses. But alas, I am what I am. For better or worse...probably the latter, not the former. I hope that you can draw insight from this story. When going on a zip line, please remember to look where you're going, and not where you've been...