I'm not sure that anyone is as conscious of my failures as myself (with the exception of God). While others may notice the mistakes or the inconsistencies in my life, they don't understand the true depth of my own depravity. They may understand their own lowliness, but not mine. Mine is reserved for me.
And I've wallowed in it.
Not wanting to make a change.
Because change is too hard.
But then I read 1 Corinthians 10:13..."No temptation has overtaken you except what iscommon to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
And I'm reminded that there is no second life to try again. No reincarnation that allows me to make up for past mistakes. In fact, nothing that I can do that will save myself. Nothing to right so many wrongs.
This on the day after Easter - the day after we celebrate the Resurrection. Nothing that I, a sinful man, can do. "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:5). Nothing that I can do.
My failure is a reminder of Christ's salvation, His ability to rid my life of sin. There should be no attempt to hide the wrongs committed over a lifetime; but instead, there should be celebration in His resurrection. He is the King, and my life is just a simple remembrance or offering at His feet. I no longer quake at my inadequacies - I fear leaving His presence.
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