A Captured Heart

My heart is captured and awakened to new love daily

With the intent that it falls ever more closely in line with yours

To know and to love you would take a lifetime of searching

But it is one for which I am presently engaged and seeking

May I always find you when I search you with all my heart

For you and you alone can guide me, my Lord and my God

                I often wonder what our relationship to God would look like, if we sought Him with all of our heart. Jeremiah 29:11 is a very well-known passage, because it speaks to people with the hope of God’s foresight and blessing upon Israel, and in turn their lives: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” But, an even deeper impression of the passion that should invade our lives as lovers of the Lord is verse 13: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” In the seeking-with-all-your-heart action, there is a promise from the Lord in verse 14: “‘I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity.’”

The Lord, whether it is obvious or not, is speaking to Israel through the prophet, but it conveys to us a sense of God’s extremely passionate desire to reconnect with His people! This is a message that is written over and again in the Scriptures as God continually tries to reconnect to His people, His creation. He desires a relationship with His people that ties into our DNA as humans. We are designed to seek after Him, but we are also endowed with the free will to reject or ignore that calling. Thus, as one reads the words of the prophet, it can be clearly seen that God is encouraging a two-way relationship, one that involves the entire heart (and soul and mind and strength if you look more broadly at the Scriptures!).

With that said, in what ways are your passion, devotion, and heart for God being daily awakened to new love? If your relationship feels empty and without substance, then I encourage you to consider the poem above and pray for a renewed zeal for our Lord and our God.

A Book of One Thousand Pages

I saw an interesting quote, today, and it started me thinking about life events that we encounter every day.

"Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read." - Anonymous

True. At least it's true in the metaphorical sense. However, my mine was percolating on this idea while I had another conversation about the troubles that people face as we go through counseling and helping people.

Imagine, if you will, the woman who has been left by her husband of 10 years. They have children together. The husband didn't leave her for a younger woman, but rather her best friend. Each decision, each birthday party, each present will now be split between two divided houses, encouraging the children to begin choosing sides based on which parent gives them the most. This woman has no one to comfort her or warm her at night, no one to dry the tears of her shattered and wounded heart, and no one to hold things together when she loses all hope in her broken world. Her pages are full of mystery, burdens, heart-ache, and stress, but so many people will never get a chance to read them.

Consider, if still willing, the child who has been beaten every other night for the last two years. There is no safe space in her home, because every hiding spot has been found and every dark corner has been creeped upon. When she goes to school, she lingers at the teacher's side, because she knows that there is a 50/50 chance that she will be beaten as soon as she gets back into her father's truck. Each of the adults that she has shared her story to has brought even more misery when the report reaches back to her father. Her pages are filled with darkness, broken bones, and a wounded spirit, but she goes unnoticed by everyone around her.

Again, think of the teen who has been emotionally abandoned by his parents, since they were too busy to give him the time of day. He fills the void of his time with drugs and pornography, seeking to find anything that will satiate his un-ending appetite for warm love and the soft touch of kindness. Each time that he seeks to build a new connection, he repeats his failure to communicate well. He is left behind the group, with a lack of social skills that will bring him into inclusion. His pages are ripped, torn, and stained with ugly fears that he cannot leave behind.

There are so many pages that have been left unread. And, what's more, we purposefully leave the book on the shelf. It becomes easier to ignore the book and the hundreds of pages of hurt, distress, and pain, because  we only like the remaining ones of joy and peace and prosperity.

And, lastly, consider this final quote with me, which comes from Paul's letter to the church at Ephesus (2:1-10 NIV).

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

There are so many pages that have yet to be filled with hope, love, and the grace of our Lord, Jesus, the Christ! We are challenged to live through faith in Him, because He heals broken hearts, He loves immeasurably more than we could ever contain, and He touches those in need of salvation. We are not promised a life without pages of brokenness, but we are called to a life that shares hope and love to those who are in need. Reach out to those around you this week. Don't let any opportunity to help the broken-hearted, because they require Christ just as much as you did. Pull that book off the shelf, and start writing about the merciful Lord, our Savior.

Thank God for Jesus, Our Messiah

Kid: "I want more presents."
Mom (to herself): "What can I do to buy more gifts for my son?"

This doesn't sound wrong, does it? I mean, in this Christmas season, how many of us have been searching for that "perfect" Christmas gift that says, "I nailed it! They will never forget what I got them for Christmas this year." But, out of curiosity, do you remember what everyone got you last year? How about the year before that? Has our obsession with gift-giving truly blinded us from the real purpose of celebration this year?

I am continually saddened by the fact that most of our Christmas season is spent not considering Christ. We go to parties, have family events, exchange gifts, and even take special time off from work, but throughout the whole season, Jesus hardly receives any mention.

Hopefully, this isn't a doomsday post about how the world is ending, blah, blah, blah. My point is not to berate us further, but rather to encourage that we carve out special time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and recognize that He was and is the Emmanuel, Christ with us! We have been blessed beyond measure through a free gift of salvation in Christ Jesus. Thank God for Jesus, our Messiah! May His name be praised for ever and ever more. He is the gift that will never be forgotten!

The Holiness of Marriage

I recently had a friend comment, "Bryan, I now have to use both hands to count the number of my friends that are getting or have been divorced in the last year and a half. We have lost the holiness that should be found in marriage."

I cannot disagree with that comment, nor with the fact that American marriages are struggling to survive. Each of use can probably name at least two or three couples that cohabitate before marriage and some of those couples have no plan to ever actually tie the knot. The prevailing thought is that marriage matters less than it used to and that there is no need to enter into marriage, because most of the time it will not last.

As a newlywed, that saddens me.

When I was engaged to Bonnie - and even shortly after marriage - there were a few people that, when "congratulating" me on our engagement, gave me the look. The look said two things: "I wish I had your happiness," and "I wonder how long it will take him to realize that it won't last." Surprisingly, I do not think that the look was given consciously, but rather as an outpouring of their underlying hurts and pains. Marriages and people have been beaten up for far too long, and it seems like things will stay that way, until there is a renewed adoption of God's plan for marriage: holiness.

Well before getting married, I heard marriage explained thus: The husband and wife come together to become a reflection of God. If the man is blue and the woman is pink, they join together in holy matrimony to reflect purple, the color of God's unquestionable royalty.

Think about that. Marriage is designed to be a royal reflection of the image of God. When did happiness become a requirement or even a goal of marriage? People often say that they look for happiness in a marriage. I do too! However, that is not my primary concern. In my marriage, I constantly check our relationship based on whether or not we are reflecting God in that moment, or day, or week.

Feel free to remark, "Bryan, you're still young in your marriage, so you just haven't gone through the trials that a life of marriage has yet to throw at you," and I will certainly not fault you for your comment. In fact, people far more experienced than me can share better advice on the subject. However, I have to ask this question in return.

What do you really desire from your marriage?

If you seek to be fulfilled in that moment with self-gratification, limited happiness, or a blissful day/week/month without an argument, I think you miss the point completely. To live for gratification (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental) robs God of His throne and title of Provider. To seek happiness, leaves you empty of the joy that comes from a life fulfilled with Christ's over and abundant salvation (and yes this even applies to your marriage). And, to think that every year will be another honeymoon is just foolish; it does not happen at your job or in your personal hobbies and it certainly will not last in your marriage.

Instead of trying to recreate the honeymoon, why not appreciate the growth that has come from years of learning the intricacies of your spouse and how your love for them has grown through hard work and dedication?

Instead of looking for happiness, which is most certainly momentary, why not allow Christ's joy and salvation to fill your marriage with a renewed spirit of heartfelt abundance?

Instead of seeking to be pleased, why not seek to please?

There are so many things going wrong with marriages. Do something right this week! Strive for holiness in your marriage and look for ways to support and uphold your spouse in Christ's love. May you be blessed as you renew these vows to each other.

Playing Second Fiddle

I went to band camp…for one year. My brother and I had received scholarships for a free year of band camp, but it was our first and last experience. I remember how disorganized I felt, because I didn’t have any “solo” pieces memorized, I couldn’t play the scales that they required, and I didn’t fit in with anyone around me. In fact, I sat next to a girl, during one of the rehearsals, who said that she had a music stand that was specifically designed for a cellist. They MAKE those?! I think she was lying, but I didn’t know the difference anyway.

The most humiliating part of the entire experience, however, was sitting last chair in the cello section of the orchestra. For those of you that don’t know what that means, it means that I was the last kid picked for the team. I was the one that they had to squeeze in somewhere, because there was nowhere else to put me.

Although we had an amazing brass section behind me (I know this, because they made me deaf during the concert), I was glad to get the experience over with. I look back upon that summer and realize that it taught me something very important: I’m not the best.

During this period for Lent, I’ve really been trying to focus my attention on the cross, remembering that every one of my actions is a symbol of Christ living in and through me. So, when it comes to those instances in which I want to be the best, I have to stop myself and think about the cross. Jesus put it very aptly, “…Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all” (Mark 10:43-44).

So, it’s no longer about how good or bad or whatever I am. It’s about what can be accomplished for the cause of Christ. As I remember back to that last-place chair in the orchestra, I am also reminded that playing second-fiddle in life isn’t a bad gig – it’s required! I hope that you will take some time as you prepare for Easter to examine your life and what Christ can do through your heart. You have an amazing opportunity to make an impact for the kingdom of God, so please don’t waste it!

The Eye of the Storm

You've probably heard this phrase before - "the eye of the storm" - but, I'm not sure that we actually take it to heart as much as we should. We talk about the calm before the storm or the peace after the storm, but what about the actual storm itself?? What do we do when we're in the thick of everything and are just waiting it out? You come to the eye...

For a hurricane or tornado, there can be a middle to the storm that seems to be much calmer than the rest of the swirling disaster all around. Right in the middle, with destruction on the outside, the center of the storm seems to cease, almost as a brief respite for breathing. The rest of the storm will surge on, and you will eventually feel the second half; but, while you're in the eye, you have relief.

Occasionally, that relief can be mixed with fear. "I've already come through so much, and I don't think I can handle the rest," is a common sentiment when you're going through the storm. Just when you think that everything is over and you can get back to whatever form of normal you enjoy, your realize that you are only halfway through the battle of the storm.

As I sat and contemplated the storms of life, I was reminded of the beautiful text of Be Thou My Vision. The phrase, "High King of Heavy my victory won," seems to settle everything into place for me. No matter where I am in the storm, my High King has already won the victory for me. I don't deserve it, nor can I fully comprehend the idea that He would care about me, but He does. He has freely given His life so that I might have hope through the storm. Whether beginning, the eye, or the end, I have hope through my High King.

So, we sit in the storm; we are tossed about by the storm; we have wind and rain and cold biting at us through the storm; but, we are anchored in the storm. The eye provides a brief respite, but we hunker down to sit it out. And we wait. And He comforts.

When God Laughs - 6/6/12

I have yet to see a reference to God laughing in the Scriptures. Except for when He's laughing at the enemy. But, I've had this idea - for a long time now - that God just sits there and laughs at me. I mean, if I laugh at me, shouldn't He get to laugh as well? Yes, He is a jealous God. Yes, He is our Provider. Yes, He is the One crowned in glory. But, doesn't He also laugh?? Doesn't He enjoy His creation? Don't we bring Him joy, as a father receives joy from his children?

I made a short list of things that I do that make God laugh. Well, I assume that they make Him laugh. Maybe He also gets mad. I'd like to think, however, that He enjoys my silly blunders like I enjoy them. If not, I'm in big trouble.

1. I think He laughs at my neurotic list of idiosyncrasies. "Bryan, you can't step on the sidewalk cracks? Are you kidding Me right now?" I know! I KNOW! It's just that...well...I have to step carefully, otherwise my feet will feel uneven. "Bryan, if I could use My own name in vain, I'd probably do it with you."

I should probably be in therapy, but it would cost me too much money. If I went, I would have to have at least three appointments a week like Adrian Monk. I just don't see that ending well, so I hope that God enjoys the show while it lasts.

2. He probably thinks my list  of qualifications for a wife is insane. I always thought that it was a good thing to be specific when you pray. I didn't think it was too much to pray, "Lord, please send me a beautiful wife who will love and respect me (obviously mutual), who will pour her heart into me (obviously mutual), and who will join me in ministry." After He continually responded with, "Bryan, just be patient and I'll take care of everything," I finally got upset and changed my prayer.

When I began to pray, "Lord, just send me a woman with a hand-written note from You that says, 'She's the one,' so that I don't have any confusion about my future wife," I think He might have gotten upset. I mean, He never came out and actually said anything about it, but I'm pretty sure that He was upset. I tried the whole awkward-laugh moment and I don't think He bought it. So, we're still a little touch-and-go on that one.

3. I'm fairly certain that He shakes His head at my control-freak tendencies. I didn't necessarily think that it was control-freakish, but I've been told (obviously by others) that I might lean that way. I always thought that I was calm, cool, and collected. I learned, on several occasions (high school, college, post-college, post-post-college), that I'm not as cool as I thought I was.

Sometimes God says, "Bryan, even I don't know what's going on in that noodle of yours. I created you, and you are more perplexing that anyone that I have ever seen." I was fairly indignant at the comment, so I asked my mother, "Mom, I'm a fairly simple guy, right?" The explosion of expression and fits of laughter told me that she was siding with God on that one.

4. He often questions my choice in wardrobe. I thought that wearing red socks with my black slacks and green shirt was a pretty awesome combination. When He said, "Bryan, I think the entire church can see your red socks when you sit down to play the drums," I started to get a little concerned. It obviously wasn't enough of a concern to keep me from doing it, but He began to question my judgment.

I thought, if ANYone would understand, it would be God. I mean, colorful socks just make everything better. If you're having a rough day, red socks just brighten the mood. If you're in a bad situation, seeing some purple argyle can totally change everything around. So, to this day, I'm still not sure if they're allowed...biblically speaking.

5. I think He is weirded out by my food consumption. I didn't think anything about eating half of a block of mild cheddar cheese in one sitting, until my bro-in-law started laughing at me in the middle of Albertson's. Around that time, God began to talk to me about the condition of my heart. I thought we were just having the normal "conviction speech," but I think He was more worried about my cholesterol.

I've since noticed that I'm in the minority for eating cheese. I didn't think it was weird to just offer someone some cheese when they walked into my house. I thought I was being hospitable, but apparently that's more disturbing than anything. So, God and I are still in the process of that conversation.

It's the simple things in life, right? We should take time to laugh at those small and seemingly insignificant moments, rather than being so concerned over all of the things that could potentially go wrong with the day.

I hope that your life is filled with opportunities to share the love of Christ this week. Don't forget that you have been bestowed an amazing opportunity. Use it wisely for the glory of God.

God's blessings on your life this week,

Bryan

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