Letters to My Wife, Chapter 7

Do you remember when we were dating and I would always ask, “Are you good? Are you OK?” I think you finally just punched me to get me to shut up. Or kissed me. Either one would’ve done the trick. I used to make you so irritated when I would ask that, because, of course, you were perfectly capable of telling me whenever something wasn’t right.

It was just part of the learning process. I would do something stupid, you would look at me to say, “You’re an idiot,” and we’d both laugh and move on. But, there was something more going on than the surface tit-for-tat. We were learning what worked and what didn’t.

I realized that my entire goal was to make you happy, but it wasn’t in a way that meant giving you everything. It was in a way that would point you back to the love of God for His child. While I don’t get a lot of things right, I do know how to point people back to the Father. I think that’s what makes me different – sets me apart from many others. The waiting, the watching, and the preparation all lead me back to one thing: God has gifted me, so that I can gift back to Him through you.

I think this started when I was really young. I would watch my dad take care of my mom. She was fully capable of taking care of herself, but it was a delight to see how they meshed together to work as one. It wasn’t “her” job to feed us and care for us.  In fact, my father actually liked feeding us when we were too small to take care of ourselves. I see it now as he cares for his new children.

He ended up doing dishes, rather than watching a ballgame on TV. If mom was working, dad was working just as hard to take care of the house, the yard, and to provide for the family. Again, this is not to say that she is incapable, but rather to bring to light that their relationship was a two-way street.

I desired that same relationship, one that would allow me to care for my wife and give back to her. It really brings to light the words of Jesus as He said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Sure, we all want things, but those things seem to matter less as we learn that giving takes their place.

A friend made the following statement to encapsulate how I feel about serving you:

“Bryan, your desire is to love someone so deeply, so intimately, that God has placed that desire in your heart for a long time now. I don’t think you could date someone like you. It seems that you have to find someone that is so different, not because it makes you hardcore, but because you are the only person who could ever show them the love of God through what He has given you.”

And, it’s not one-sided. You have given me so much more than you could ever comprehend. My hope – my desire – is that neither of us is left feeling empty, because everything that we do points us back to the love of Christ.

Chapter 1 :: Chapter 2 :: Chapter 3 :: Chapter 4 :: Chapter 5 :: Chapter 6

Someone Worth Redeeming

I had an interesting conversation today about whether or not a Christian can ever lose his/her salvation. As I have tried to make my relationship with God my first priority, I realize that I fail...miserably. And, the failure isn't exactly what I'm worried about - that happens all the time - but rather, it's the getting back up again. Phrases like, "Well, you're worth it to God, so don't give up," or "God has a plan for your life," just don't always seem to cut it. Yes, I know those things, but why?? Why did God even care?

I was reminded of my Bible as Literature class from high school. In that class, we were taught that each book in the Old Testament begins to paint a picture of who God is and what His character looks like. In Genesis, He is painted as Creator; in Exodus, He is Savior; in Leviticus, He is holy; in Numbers, I see Him as the Shepherd who is counting His sheep; and, in Deuteronomy and Joshua, He is strength and Provider. So, what about Judges?? All of these amazingly cool characteristics stand out, despite Israel's issues of unfaithfulness...until we get to Judges. And, He's fed up with the people...yet again. I mean, in Genesis, He destroyed the entire planet, save 8 people - oh, and the animals. But, the overwhelming presence of God in Judges says what??

It doesn't stay there! I can't stay in Judges. It's a good and important reminder that God is God and that it is His prerogative to judge - He is the Judge. But, Ruth comes next. What is the characteristic of God that shines in Ruth? He is Redeemer. That's more than Savior. Both are important, but think about what it means to be redeemed? It means that the full price is paid to set you free - no budget cuts.

To be redeemed is like someone paying the price for a car that has seen its better days. A car that is beat up, torn down, barely running, and only called a car because it has four tires on it. A car that couldn't make it to the gas station, if it wanted to. A car that is purchased for the purpose of being restored. To be returned to its original glory and splendor. And, the glory and splendor are not really the car's, but they belong to the one that restores it. The person restoring it takes pride in the beauty being returned.

But, why? The car wasn't worth it. It takes more money to restore the car than it is worth. You literally throw money away at that car. For what? To see it restored to beauty? What's the point? Why even care about the car in the first place? Why not just scrap it and sell it for junked parts?

That's what I struggle with. I wasn't worth redeeming. I'm still not. So, why? "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8 NIV). "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV).

Love.

Simply put, God loves us. God loved me. He loves you. And, you are someone worth redeeming!

Sharing My Heart - 3/5/12

For several months, I've been sending out these weekly devotionals, hoping that they provide some sense of encouragement. Well, this week, I just want to share a little from my heart. God has been telling me, for a long while now, that I'm supposed to do something more than just sit on my butt and call myself a Christian. Yes, I'm a pastor. Yes, I'm active in my church. Yes, I've been a faithful Christian for a long time. It's just time to ramp it up.

"Walk by faith," says God. "Just go make it happen. Go and make disciples."

"But, God," I responded, "I don't have the money to do that!"

"Really, Bryan? REALLY?? I am the God of this universe! Don't you think I can equip you, if I'm sending you out?"

"Oh...right..."

So, here's the project. It's called "Feed Our Streets."

I believe that God is calling us to minister to those that are closest to us - our Jerusalem. This is HUGE and very necessary in Southeast Fresno. There are so many people hurting, but they keep a smile on their face, so that others don't think badly of them. Well, we're going to spread the love of Christ with as many people as possible, because I believe that's what He is calling all Christians to do. Make it real. Make it tangible. Make it memorable. Make it lovely.

I see tables that line the streets. They’re decorated, pretty, and just convey the message of “block party” to everyone that looks down the street. I see shocked, but excited faces as they begin to smell the barbeque and catch the vision of what’s going on. I see laughter and conversation between people that have never spoken to each other. I see Christ’s love visibly pouring into people as they come together for a common meal.

The workers will be in bright t-shirts so that they will be highly visible and can’t escape the questions. Why are you here? What are you doing? What could possibly possess you to do this? Why should I eat your food? And, there will only be one answer: Because you are worth it!

A banner will be raised high to tell the entire neighborhood that we’re there. As if they couldn’t miss the beautiful smell of barbeque or the bright colored t-shirts, we will absolutely be in their faces (in a good way)! And we will sit with them, enjoying conversation and finding out what makes them excited; finding out what makes them tick.

This will be happening at several locations over the course of the entire summer. We will start in May and have these parties all over SE Fresno for the next several months. It’ll be warm, but there will be iced tea and lemonade. It’ll be awkward, but there will be the Holy Spirit to guide us. It’ll be fun, and we’ll just laugh and possibly cry from the joy that is pouring out of our hearts.

And, the Lord will be blessed! Community groups will come together to serve. Organizations from throughout the city will partner to see God’s love given out to those in need. And, we will be loved in return.

This is my heart. I usually leave you with a call to action. So, the only one that I have is this: what will you do to respond? People need God, but they need YOU to show them God. Go out! Serve! Make disciples!

God's blessings on your life this week,

Bryan

http://thebtaylor.blogspot.com

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Second-Rate Love

As I sit, considering tomorrow's Thanksgiving festivities, I'm forced to reflect upon tonight's communion service message from Revelation 2:2-5. Some of us are thankful for things. Others of us are thankful for family and our church body. Sometimes, we forget the only thing worth remembering: our First Love.

In a recent conversation with a friend, I was drawn to the fact that my love for Christ, however strong, never fully reaches the love that Christ first had for us. "How are you today?"

"I'm about 75%."

"Interesting, because 75% pure gold is still considered to be impure." It wasn't a statement of condemnation, rather one of self-reflection. Have I ever attained first-rate love? A communion service, a remembrance of our communion and one-ness with Christ, should bring us back to remembering our First Love. And yet, why is it, that most of my life is spent with the feeling of being a second-rate lover.

I offer the following lyrics as my reflection. I realize that it can sound like a love song, but consider the words as you stand face-to-face with Christ. Maybe I'll record the music...someday...for now, consider the reflection.

You look so beautiful to me

Reminding me of nothing that I've seen

Drawing me to reframe the everything that I'm dreaming

I think the state of my me brings a purer love for Thee

I stand here as a second-rate

Holding only the shadow left behind

I sing hallelujah-lelujah

For the wonder of Your love

So pure and mine

I feel Your scarred and wounded hands

Not keeping me from driving the nail again

Bringing me to the place of giving up my needs

I think with less of me I'll find a purer love for Thee

I stand here as a second-rate, a second-rate

Holding only the shadow left behind

I sing hallelujah-lelujah

For the wonder of Your love

I bring to You the praise with my life

Leaving my depravity and sin so far behind

I sing hallelujah-lelujah

For the wonder of Your love

So pure and mine

I Looked for a Man to Fill the Gap

I was reading Ezekiel 22, got to the very end of the chapter, and had my mind blown. The direct text is, '30 "I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. 31 So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign LORD."'

Now, my question is this: how many men are there to stand in the gap on behalf of the people? I'm reminded of the warning "Mind the Gap" or "Watch Your Step", and frankly, I think more of us are actually more worried about our own steps than we are for the sake of others. And I'm not even talking about the "plank in your own eye". I'm talking about approaching the throne of God on behalf of the people.

God has been greatly speaking to my heart recently about the idea of unconditional love. What does it mean to love someone or a group of people unconditionally? If we really consider the concept, it means that we are willing to love and NOT expect anything in return.
Consider a 5-year-old. Now, he (or she) is mostly concerned with his own well-being. Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I want to stay up and play? How many more play minutes do I get before I have to go take a bath?? If mom or dad tells him "NO", he breaks down, because it's all about him. He has no idea what it means to love unconditionally, because he is still more concerned about himself more than anyone else. And that's not to say that the child doesn't love mom or dad, because the parent is the first one that he runs to when he is scared or in need. But his love is always based on how he feels at the time.

Now, consider the average adult. Most of us are concerned with wealth, sustenance, relationships, work, kids, etc. And often we don't consider allowing someone else to be the focus of our relationship, because we are occupied with trying to do things for what we can get in return. I mean, isn't that what your job is all about? Isn't that what most of your relationships are about? I'm not going to give to you unless I am completely sure that you will respond in equal or better fashion.

I mean, that has been the existence of mankind. But what I see God saying is, "Who really cares about the people?? If you are SO concerned with your own issues and ideas and feelings, then you don't DESERVE my love! You don't DESERVE my gratitude! You don't DESERVE my protection! Obviously Ezekiel was writing, because God was fed up; but don't you think it makes sense?? God created us for a relationship and we took advantage of that in the Garden. He has been trying ever since to get us back, but it's a longer process than any of us actually think.

My challenge, if any of you are interested, is to consider others before yourself. Try loving someone for who they are, rather than for what they can give. It's amazing to see just how much God has in store for our lives when we give up ourselves and consider the needs of the masses to be more important. Just try it for a week and only then will I let you tell me that it didn't work.

The Object of God's Love

C.S. Lewis tells a story of a schoolboy who was asked about God's character. "He replied that, as far as he could make out, God was 'the sort of person who is always snooping around to see if anyone is enjoying himself and then trying to stop it.'" I would argue that many of us still have the same view: "How is God going to beat me down today, because I didn't measure up to His standards?" And, while I consider God's wrath to be one of the only certainties in life, I also know that God's love is equally certain.

If you will, consider the fact that God's love existed before time. Before there was a way to measure the events of the past, God had already loved the world enough to create it. Despite the fact that God's love allows for our errors and misjudgments, He still gives it. In addition to His gift, He WILLS it. God said there would be love and it happened, just as sure as any of the rest of His promises.

I recently sat down to have story time with a couple of young boys. They were wild and crazy as any other young boy might be; but they also have an uncanny gift for melting one's heart, as many other children do. As we sat down for story time (I was actually laying on my stomach), one of them came up and just laid down on top of my back. Now, I'm not a father, but I think this must have been the closest that I've been to feeling the love of a father, because as he laid there, listening to the stories, he just rested.

In that moment, every other thought of wrongdoing evaporated. No thoughts about what he had done wrong that day. No cares about what he would do wrong the next. Just peace.

And as I've tried to consider resting in God's peace, I had never quite experienced what it might look like in that context. I mean - how often does God desire for you to just walk up to Him, turn around, and just plunk your butt down into His lap?? Psalm 51 says, "for Thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: Thou delightest not in burnt offering." And while the Psalmist is specifically talking about the restoration of one's soul to God's grace, I also think that it refers to our desires toward God. Does He truly desire to see you rest in Him? Does He truly desire to love you?

See, we can all say, "Well, I'm not good enough for God, because I've done x, y, and z." Well, I have news for you! He says, "Give it to Me, because I can handle it. Give it to me, because I can wash it clean! I am Your Father. I am Your God. Therefore, what I command, you have NO business disobeying. And I command you to rest in My peace."

It's no wonder that so many of us walk around with our hearts dragging through the dirt - we have the anchor of the world pulling it down to the depths of despair. But, if we will just be the object of God's life, as He fully intended us to be, then we shall be blessed beyond measure. I don't care what you've done! I don't care how you feel! I only care that you give up you for the sake of Him.

Will you do that today?